Interpersonal conflict is a reality in everyone’s life. Some seem to attract conflict and frequently find themselves embroiled in heated discussions, or angry exchanges. Other people can see conflict a mile away and will take wide detours in order to avoid disagreement with anybody. They weave through their days with amazing dexterity, avoiding this place or that person so that they don’t need to face an uncomfortable situation.
Many of us are someplace in between these two examples. We don’t search for conflict but if we find ourselves disagreeing with our friends or neighbours, we find ways to talk about it.
But what happens if all our energy is spent struggling to meet the basic needs of our families – food, adequate shelter, transport money, and safety? In these situations, when a conflict happens, we have no energy in reserve to deal with this new challenge. Yet, conflict usually doesn’t disappear on its own. It may simmer for awhile only to boil over when one is most vulnerable. Or, we find yourselves spending lots of precious time and emotional resources figuring out how to avoid a person or a situation that is potentially uncomfortable.
Ultimately, unresolved conflict increases my feelings of vulnerability so I feel less in control of my life and less able to act in healthy, helpful ways in the other struggles in my life.
The mediation process empowers people to resolve their own conflicts – with assistance, encouragement, and support. But, I can’t help but wonder if there is more we can do, or a better process we can adopt, so that the challenges of a conflict aren’t overwhelming to those living in poverty. What do you think?
Mediation Services - Thinking Out Loud 